DrunK iN teL aViV – Tel Aviv Bars and night life

After The Breakfast Club, The Cat and Dog, The Mental and a few other basement clubs that opened around town in recent years, I didn’t think another similar place would impress me. But The Penguin did. It’s a great combination of all of its predecessors, with a different feel and a different vibe. The owners relay the message that the décor should still be well-invested, even though you won’t see much from the moment you arrive (due to smoke, alcohol, etc.).

The entrance does not bode well, easily making into the top three “Places with the Strangest Entrance in the City” list. There’s a courtyard of an old building on Yehuda Halevi Street and a brown door that makes it look like you’re entering an illegal casino or an abandoned studio apartment, any which way, it arouses doubts regarding the place, but that quickly changes. It’s like you’ve entered through a magic door. You go downstairs, getting used to the lights and décor. There’s a well-designed bar, wooden floor, a nice dance floor, couches in the corners and more. It’s a combination of dark underground and a quality lounge.

The place has two major unique qualities. The first is low-key and special: In the center is a private bar and it’s unclear exactly who gets in and how. It’s like an aquarium that you can look into, and gives the impression that if you’re inside you’re well connected and cooooooool! The second is the place’s crown jewel – two small, comfortable booths, which you can lock from the inside. In them are places to sit, as well as a shiny tray. These booths give revelers the chance to spend time alone, or with someone, or to reinvigorate themselves. Because of these “White Booths”, the lines for the bathroom are shorter, which is great. It’s cool. There’s no shame. The place’s catch phrase is “People do everything here and don’t hide it.”

The Penguin has honed a unique Tel Aviv phenomenon. If you’re there at 1 or 2 A.M. and it’s still empty, you may ask yourself whether you’ve missed out on the action or if it has yet to start. And then you remember that this is Tel Aviv, and that back in the day The Breakfast Club only started showing signs of life (life might not be the right term…) at 4 A.M. And you realize that the night is young. It’s unbelievable. What the hell? No one in this city works!

The sound is great, you can hear and feel each beat in all of your organs. The crowd was great – kudos to the bouncers. The drinks flowed, the music only got better, people started dancing and it got crowded, and the night seemed promising…
I’d recommend going there on Wednesdays for the amazing electro and house parties. The rest of the week is good too. Check the nightlife sites to see who’s DJing. And clear your schedule for the following morning, because there’ll be another black hole in Tel Aviv. It might be more stylized, but at the end of the day it’s blacker than black…

The Penguin Tel Aviv
Yehuda Halevi 43

Last Friday some friends and I went out to The Cat and Dog. Turns out the place has an added space called The Dog. I’m still unclear as to the relation between the two. I just remember that there was a magical door, and one minute I was at The Dog and the next I was at The Cat and Dog. The places are connected, and it seems like you close your eyes and sometimes when you open them you’re in one place, and the next time you’re in the other place. Every time I went to the bathroom I felt like I’d gotten lost in a maze. Or that I’d arrived at The Cat and Dog or The Dog or the angry security guard who said something like “Not from here.” I wonder whether he was standing at the entrance to another place. They’ve got quite a network!!!

Anyways, The Dog is great. It has much more of a club vibe – it’s big and has a long bar, couches and an insane sound system. I’m not sure whether I actually heard the music or felt it enter through my legs.
Sahar Zangilevitch was awesome and the crowd (from what I was able to see, since the place was dimly lit) was great, and of course the line for the bathroom was very long…

So welcome to the new dog in town, and whoever goes there should take a map and compass, because it’s kind of complicated…

Woo hoo!!! Neither a cat nor a dog. The club should have been called “The Wolf and Sheep.” The descendant of the legendary Breakfast Club is similar to its father, but slightly less successful. The father had a sense of precedence, an excellent crowd, amazing house music and a lustful atmosphere. The son has all of these, but some of the charm has waned. Once again, dark stairs lead to a world of bass, drinks, caresses and long lines for the bathroom.

The sound and music can compete with any good club in the city. The best DJs in town take turns at the DJ booth during the week, while the best partygoers in town exchange sweat salts and other substances.

At times, the bouncers weren’t very strict and it felt like they were just trying to fill the place with whoever showed up. Recently there has been a sense of renewal and rejuvenation. The best bouncers in town stand at the door and make sure that only the finest get in.
On weekends it’s still hard to get in, and isn’t always recommended – it’s really crowded and smoky, and the lines for the bathroom and really long. I’d suggest going during the week, especially on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. The place is full, but it’s just right. The music is insane. And as usual, it’s unclear exactly how or why, but there’s not much going on before 2 A.M. Like it’s father, the son has a hard time explaining the “What the hell did you do at home until 2 A.M., and how the hell will you wake up for work, or anything else, in the morning?” phenomenon, but who really cares? This is Tel Aviv, and this is one of the places that characterizes it best. Every day, at any hour, there’s always something (or a semblance of something) going on.

In short, if you find yourselves tossing and turning in bed at 3 A.M. on a Tuesday or Wednesday night, or cruising around town aimlessly, and you feel like hanging out with good looking people and scoping the scene on Carlibach Street, this is the place for you. You’ll hardly ever be disappointed.

Prepare your doctor’s note, because you won’t be going to work the following day…
Open almost every night of the week from midnight to the wee hours of the morning.

The Cat and Dog
Carlibach 23, Tel Aviv

The Block is one of the most original places that opened in the city in recent years!!! Wild live performances every Friday night, the best DJs from around the world, a great crowd and an amazing sound system!!! And really, really inexpensive.

Here’s an example from one of the recent, excellent performances:

David Hachmi 35
Phone: 03-537-9963

Undoubtedly one of the most invested, well-designed clubs in the Holy Land. There’s a large dance floor, different levels, a moving ceiling, an insane sound system, yard, huge bars and room for thousands of partygoers, and the list of DJs who play there is never-ending. The best DJs in the world wait in line to spin their records for the amazing Tel Aviv crowd.

Here is a sample from the amazing set by Armin Van Buuren, one of the leading DJs in the world today, who played at Oman 17 in February of this year:

Ha’Oman 17
Abarbanel 88, Tel Aviv
Phone: 03-681-3636

Good Morning Tel Aviv!!! Welcome to one of the oldest and most successful house and electro clubs in the city (a reincarnation of the legendary “Fetish” club); walking down the dark stairs into a black, magical hole you feel the vibrations of the bass throughout your entire body. The place is not recommended for the faint of heart – it is a lethal mix of all ages, genders and colors, with the best house in town, all of which create a relaxed, sexy and boundless atmosphere.

The perennial resident DJs – Iliya and Ravid Yehoshua – have been in the booth for years and welcome the best DJs from Israel and around the world. What amazing sound and music! Exciting!

Don’t expect fancy interior design, the lack of which might actually be the place’s charm. People come for the atmosphere and the music; not to see a beautiful place and not to see and be seen. Just dive in, clear your mind and forget for a few hours any and all problems that await outside the club door. Within a few minutes of your entry, you couldn’t care less about the décor. The next few hours hours will be spent with your eyes closed or looking up at the ceiling (or at God, thanking Him for getting you to this point…)

The club is comprised of a long, curved bar, a dance floor on all sides of the bar, a DJ booth and a number of dark, lewd corners, where you can find people asleep or very alert, resting, making out, or those who simply couldn’t find their way back to the dance floor.
Braver folks should frequent the club on Fridays. The place only fills up after 2 A.M. and clears out way after sunrise.
To sum up – if you like house, this is the best place in town. It’s a club for people who really want to have a good time and clear their heads without having to worry about their looks or who you’ll see.

And another thing – I met my wife there!!! It may be hard to believe, but amid the dark mess, we found each other, and quickly realized that it was not by chance. Have fun and clear your schedule for the following Saturday.

Maxim Club, King George 48
Thursday, Friday – Midnight to Sunrise

There are so many hot girls in this city, it’s unbelievable! All ages and all types, they come out at night, tan and delicately (usually) but impeccably made up, reapplying lipgloss before the shine fades… Wife-beaters and mini jeans skirts or light, colorful designer dresses… Just so you know – I’m a straight girl and am still impressed!

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about the men in this city, who leave the house as if saying to their wives, “What? You think I’d leave the house like this? I’m just going to a friend’s…” And then they show up wearing jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops and still think they’re God’s gift to women… (aside from Itzik Zohar, who donned a loud blue-green button-down shirt… but still thinks the same thing…).

Yesterday I decided to go out early, to grab a seat at the bar… So I was already at the Sublet at 9:30 P.M., only to find a glass on each stool, indicating that it was reserved… Luckily Omer Gershon, the perfect host, found us two seats on the bar that we later realized was “the back of the bus” – or the athletes’ bar.

On my right were Erik Banado and his wife (again…), Hila Nachshon, Itzik Zohar (not together, obviously), Liran Shtrauber (in a vest!!!) and others that you might recognize but aren’t sure where they’re from and why they’re there. At 10:30 P.M. the place was packed, the music was great and people kept arriving, like there was no tomorrow…

Sublet Bar Tel Aviv
Koifman 6, Beit Gibor Roof, Tel Aviv, near the Dan Panorama Hotel, in the Textile District

I’ve liked this little, wooden, very very smoker-friendly place for a long time…
It’s a hybrid of a local bar with really good food, and on summer days when it’s harder to digest meat (not for me personally, but in general…) it’s so fun to spend an evening, or Saturday after the beach (for those who can muster the courage to go to the beach and get mauled by the masses and the kids throwing sand…) at a side table or on the bar…

Yesterday, after I’d had enough of the air conditioner at home, I decided that I was hungry as well, plus it was time to give my electricity bill a break and go out to eat.

I met with a friend at Barbunya Bar and before we even looked at the menu we ordered their mezes, including fresh bread and various tasty dishes like eggplant, tehini, beets, hummus, etc. And of course – drinks: wine for her and Corona for me (probably the only place in town where Corona costs less than NIS 25).

We also got grilled asparagus, which was very nice, and then we moved on to the animals – an order of shrimp in garlic and olive oil and an order of fried calamari – both of which were amazing.
We downed it all with whiskey and vodka chasers. So wonderful…
You can spend hours there, but we left – frozen by the air conditioner…
Keep it in mind כor next Saturday, but also for a fun, early evening any other day.

Barbunya Bar
Fish and Seafood Restaurant and Bar
Ben Yehuda 192, Tel Aviv
Phone: 03-524-0961; 03-527-6965

Yesterday was my last exam – in Physiological Anatomy.

Armed with the vast knowledge I’d accumulated on the human body and the adverse effects that a smoke and alcohol filled environment can have, a good looking friend picked me up and we went to the much discussed, and not so new place (in Tel Aviv terms) – The Sublet.
It’s a roof, right on the water, above Roshfeld’s restaurant (that’s what I was told; I personally don’t have money to dine there…). The entrance is via a wooden staircase that leads to a gigantic roof with a huge bar on the left and an elevated porch on the right.

I was greeted by the beautiful Ilana Berkovitch and Erik Banado, who was the object of my youthful desires, as a fan of Maccabi Haifa…
What I want to say is that the clientele is good and beautiful, or as my friend said – “An academic crowd.”
Within five minutes I was surrounded by familiar faces, because in case you didn’t know – there are 100 regular partiers in Tel Aviv, and the décor around them changes based on time and location…

I sat on the bar, sipping a cool Corona for NIS 28 a bottle (I had three…), and I didn’t miss out on the munchies, singlehandedly polishing off an entire pizza – one of the best I’ve ever had!
Basically, this is a great place to spend the summer, and my next goal is to check whether they’re open during the sunset, because that could be awesome!

Sublet Bar Tel Aviv
Koifman 6, Beit Gibor Roof, Tel Aviv, near the Dan Panorama Hotel, in the Textile District

Who ever thought there’d come a day where they’d close the doors to this splendid establishment… Well, it didn’t exactly close but it did switch locations, twenty meters up on Lillenblum (Lillenblum 30), on the ruins of the Uzi Bach and who knows what other places… The charm of the old place was that it was little, people had to crowd together, climbed on the bar, and there was a limit to how many people could get in.

The DJ had a tiny booth in the corner, making it difficult for revelers to come make suggestions (which was a good thing), and the DJ could look at the crowd from above to determine which way the vodka fumes were blowing.
And then the owner/municipality/contractor came and decided to kick Nana out of the building. The place moved to a new location, but that’s not the only thing that changed.

I went there yesterday, after hearing the sensational news that Danny Sidess would be DJing. I think that he is the perfect DJ for that place; he always has been.

The place is huge! The restaurant area is much bigger than it was, and was full of patrons. You actually have to walk through it to get to the bar area. The bar is also huge, and there is even another floor, which was hosting a private party at the time.
The DJ booth has moved down, and is near the kitchen, so all orders and waiters pass by it… What can I say… The vibe has changed… It’s still fun and nice for a Friday night.

The clientele was fine until it looked like they’d unloaded a bus full of tourists… At any rate it’s a big place that needs to be filled…
The staff is amazing and has been with the place for years.
It’s safe to assume that I’ll be back at some point, but it’s no longer Nanutchka. It’s the New Nanutchka

New Nanutchka
Lillenblum 30
Phone: 03-516-2254